First stop Jail.
Fred: Hi I need Fine to sign these five copies and return them to me.
Kid Sheriff: you will have to remove he staples
Fred: No, he is not keeping them, you are returning them to me
Kid: Oh
Fred: Fine will have to fill out this cover sheet
Sheriff Sgt: I don’t want to just stand around while he does this.
Fred: Oh you don’t like just standing around, hey, I know how you feel
Fred: Look I did the big part ahead of time. He just has to sign and check off a few boxes.
Sgt: Oh OK,
Sgt: He wants to see you at the visitor window.
Fred: Is the door over in the other building unlocked.
Kid: I don’t know. If it is not come all the way back and let me know and I’ll get someone to open it.
I walk to the other building.The door was unlocked.
Fred: I’m here to see Fine.
Deputy: He’s not here.
Fred: He will be in a minute.
Deputy: Oh wait, he’s already waiting for you.
We visit.
Then it’s Off to the Federal Court House
Fred: Hi, I want to file this Writ
Fed girl: What is this?
Fred: It is the important cover sheet
Fed: We don’t use this, you don’t need it, it has no value to us.
Fred: I think we should include it
Fed: Well, you can attach it to the back but you will need two more copies because each one will need to be the same.
Fred: Well then I will need 4 copies because I am filing 4 and keeping one.
Fed: You can only give us 3 and keep one. that’s procedure. If we need more we have to make them.
Fred: Well look, I’ve done you a favor and made the extra one for you already.
Fed: That was very considerate but we really can’t take it.
Fred: Can you make the extra copies of the cover and attach them to the back.
Fed: No, we don’t make copies or alter the submissions. I suggest you throw the cover away. We just don’t use it.
Fred: Ok, here are the 3 copies without the cover. I assume you will assign a case # and a Judge. we don’t want a magistrate judge.
Fed: yes here is your # but we have to assign a magistrate judge that is procedure.
Fred: Fine said that you might but we will move for another judge immediately.
Fed: yes that would be correct procedure
Fred: who is the judge going to be for this case?
Fed: That would be judge (I’m not kidding) Woehrle and Walter
Fred: You can’t do that.
Fed: Why not?
Fred: Because it would be like the wicked witch of the west presiding over a case against the flying monkeys.
Fed: what are you talking about
Fred: look at page two. Woerhle and Walter are the defendants.
Fed: Oh my God. Let me talk to my supervisor.
fred watchs the long heated debate between the two women
Fed: She says “because Woerhle and Walter are not specified in the caption they have to be assigned to the case. I realize that It is not right but they will probably recuse themselves and if they don’t you will probably move to have them replaced.”
Now go to the fifth floor and give them $5.
Everything will be ready when you come back.
Fred will be back on Monday to straighten out the silly mess made on Friday.
We’re not making any money but we’re certainly having fun.
Respectfully Submitted
Fred Sottile
In Pro Per